Some say love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go around,
Some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.
Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.
Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway guides.
Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.
I looked inside the summer-house;
It wasn't over there;
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed.
Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.
When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.
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Can anyone tell me the meaning of the line - a ham from a temperance hotel? I am reading this poem at my sisters wedding and don't understand this line. I know that a temperance hotel is one that did not serve alcohol but what is the ham? Is it just a ham or is ham a slang word for something else? Doti
ReplyDeleteI really don't know. I was searching for the same thing myself. You think you've got it bad. I've got to teach this wretched poem to a class of 7 year olds who cringe when Prince Charming kisses Cinderella!!! Not a clue what it means
ReplyDeleteGood question -- I hope someone might be able to enlighten us further.
ReplyDeleteYes a temperance hotel was a common thing 100 years ago, presumably offering a safer environment for respectable travellers than boozy ones.
I wondered if the ham could have alluded to a low-level acting performer in such a premises, who might well have been trying to portray someone in love.
However as it is coupled with the line about pyjamas, it could well imply the bare flesh of the buttocks (one definition of hams being the buttocks).
Probably it can simply be read literally as the cut of meat seen in a hotel, just an off the wall reference that either suggests the anticipation over dinner of an impending liaison upstairs, or suggesting nothing at all!